Workplace 4 - Sydney

I feel this post holds an important message if you are ever seeking a job.

If you are on any of the lovely and helpful job websites and notice an advertised position has these characteristics:

• Too many CAPITALS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!! (ie giving off the vibe that it was written by a puppy on speed)
• Uses phrases like: "Superstar", "Craziest most FUN place to work!!", "Have the X FACTOR quality?" and "DREAM TEAM!" (all direct quotes - for more type in 'backpacker' to any job search website)
• All the salaries are attached to "OTE" (On Target Earnings or Over the Top Exaggerations)
• And they don't actually say what you will be doing - just that you need to be AWESOME and they only have 18+ positions left!!!!!!

Then you will be doing something like what I did for four days during a trip to Sydney.

At the start of each day we turned up at the very funky office (bar included) and were pep-rallied on our task for the day by the same speed driven puppy that obviously wrote the ad. After this, all bright eyed and disorientated we were broken up into teams (gangs) and allocated our merchandise (weapons) for the day.

Then, in our multi-cultured (backpacking) group of about half a dozen, we would take the train to our designated area (turf) for the days work (harassing).

Once on location, we would spread out to maximise efficiency of our impact and then would politely approach (yell at) potential customers (innocent bystanders) with the intention of enriching their lives (our pockets) with a bargain (probably still overpriced) opportunity to buy TWELVE GAMES OF SKIRMISH!! WOW!

Incredibly, enough people aimlessly wander through the central areas of Sydney waiting to be convinced that  they need a dozen games of skirmish to make this particular approach worthwhile for whole teams of people, day after day. 

Which is not to say that we weren't told to piss off 19 times out of 20 but if you persist you will find that bored, rich, feeble minded person that is the mainstream market of the Superstar Street Hawker!!

The highlight of this job was running into The Cat Empire in Darling Harbour before their concert. They were very friendly and didn't want to buy any games of skirmish, thank you. We also made friends with a group of English lads and went with them to a pub where they proceeded to cry over losing the World Cup.

It was a great job for seeing the different parts of Sydney and I had some lovely, non skirmish related, conversations with randoms on the street. I learnt that no one actually comes FROM Sydney, they all go there from somewhere else. It also taught me that I don't like sales and I'm not particularly good at it as I didn't manage to sell a single skirmish pack over my 4 days. 

So, if you want a job that is in the fresh air, if you are extroverted, or introverted and don't want to be, like to get exercise while you work (ie, be on your feet all day) and take abuse in your stride - YOUR A SUPERSTAR AND THIS IS THE JOB FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If, however, you don't like the idea of people swearing at you, you do like to sit down, and you haven't got an accent or the personality of afore-mentioned puppy on speed, maybe some other job would suit you better.